Mini Golf Hire Melbourne

Pretty much every SEO expert (the people you pay to try and get you to the top of page one in Google searches if you are unfamiliar with the term) preaches the necesseity of having a blog that links to your website from which you can publish regular, relevant content.

Sounds awesome. A weekly assignment to write about mini golf hire Melbourne. Filled with relevant keywords like ‘portable mini golf hire melbourne’ and ‘team building ideas Melbourne’ it promises to be a fantastic read.

Each week I will give advice that approximately four people in the country will find useful such as ‘how to run a mini golf competition at work’.

I really hope google does not penalise you if your weekly blog is not only stuffed with relevant keywords but also with sarcastic comments.

Anyway, here is my first lot of relevant content. I have cut and paste the ‘about us’ section of our website as an introduction. Apologies for being lazy to the twelve people who will read this after I put something on my personal facebook page begging them to ‘check out the blog’.

Welcome…

The Big Putts Mini Golf Hire Melbourne team are an elite unit of highly trained events operatives with Olympic level customer service skills. There are over 6,000 applicants for the unit each year with only three positions available.

Our courses are the best in the business. They are made in a disused coal mine in a place you won’t find on any regular map. They are built by elves under the direction of an eccentric former commando who insists that Kenny Rogers (and only Kenny Rogers) be constantly played in his workshop. Cameras are obviously not allowed.

The courses are delivered under police guard by black vans with no licence plates and we must wear hoods over heads during the unloading of the courses so as to never learn the identity of the couriers.

We are obsessed with punctuality and our drivers have all completed both SWAT team and defensive driving courses. Our drivers are regularly quizzed on random streets in the metropolitan area and if they make a mistake, must walk barefoot to the street in question and kneel at the foot of the street’s sign and personally apologise to the street for not knowing its location.
We deal with event companies on a regular basis and are familiar with such industry jargon as ‘bump-in’ which we insert into almost every conversation just to show people that we are no strangers to ‘the biz’ and this is not our first rodeo. On a side note, we have actually set up at a rodeo.

Nobody is nicer to deal with than us. We are master conversationalists capable of world class repartee. World leaders and movie stars ring us just to hear our voices but we tell them we are too busy looking after our customers, which they respect. We have impeccable manners, clean shirts and nice teeth. We will be nice to your parents and they will love us.

Clinical trials were conducted using one of our courses, a competitor’s course and a placebo. The tests have conclusively proven our course to be scientifically the best course for every single scenario in which mobile mini golf could possibly be applicable. Trust Big Putts Portable Mini Golf Hire Melbourne.

Don’t argue with science.

Hire us.